Things have gotten… interesting since I posted last. On the bright side, I figured out why I couldn’t finish the rewrite of Kim’s first book: I was missing some crucial information. I can’t divulge anything – it won’t be revealed until between books two and three – but it’s pretty earth-shattering and influences everything. Placing that story in the continuum will be interesting in and of itself: it’s not Kim’s third book as she doesn’t appear until late in the story, but her part is vital to her third and fifth books and beyond.
On the not-so-bright side, my personal life has gone kaboom. I cannot and will not reveal the details here, but it’s put a major kink in things. Right now, I’m in survival mode: keep my head down, stay out of the way, follow directions, and pray I don’t get caught in the crossfire or put in the crosshairs regardless. ::sigh:: With any luck, it will resolve in the next few months without exploding further.
Of course, school in the middle of all this isn’t helping. I’m ready to give up as I don’t feel like I’m getting anything out of it other than stress and have no motivation whatsoever. Still, I’m not a quitter, plus having this degree will open a lot of doors for me career-wise. I can’t teach without my masters’ any way it’s sliced.
Brains are funny things. They work when they want to and throw fits when they don’t. They sometimes work halfway or sideways or sporadically. Mine’s been on the fritz lately.
I’ve mentioned this before – recently, evenly – but I struggle with depression and anxiety. I take antidepressants but nothing for the anxiety, mainly because the anxiety seems to be tied to the depression: controlling the depression usually takes care of the anxiety. Because of this whole COVID situation and living way out in the country when I’m not cut out for it, my depression has gotten worse recently. Cue trying to adjust medications. I take Cymbalta and Welbutrin, and they work for the most part. I already take the max dose of Welbutrin, so we’ve been playing with my Cymbalta. Unfortunately, Cymbalta makes it hard for me to sleep at night, so I take it in the morning. Cue not sleeping at all on an increased dosage! I’m taking Unisom for now, but I requested a consult on my meds. Unfortunately, in the meantime, I’ve been running short on spoons, motivation, and darns to give. I was actually scrounging hard to give a darn about anything the other day, even about things that usually go against my nature not to care about.
All that to say, writing that’s not schoolwork hasn’t been a priority lately. I’m working on Vanessa’s first book, but even that’s on the back burner for now. I’ve still been thinking about what to put here and on the Tales site, just not too hard. I probably should rehash what I’ve already posted in the past, update it to the way things are now, and I eventually will. I still don’t want to tease too much before I get Kim’s first book where it’s halfway ready for alpha readers, but it seems to be the rewrite that will never end. In the meantime, I’m open to suggestions!